Friday, November 19, 2004

Well...7 more days of class and 26 days until graduation!!!!

Just to share a personal note and to be completely honest with something that has struck me hard. {An excerpt from my journal}

It seems as much as I try to not be swayed by this world, I still am. BCM is having an all night worship thing tonight. My first thought was "that's a stupid idea" Why? because BCM is doing it. That was my only reason for thinking that. And I joined in with some other people when they said it was stupid. (I don't know their reasoning.) But a good friend was true to himself and to God and he didn't give into us and said that it sounded like an awesome time. And then I thought, "you know...it really does sound like an awesome time." I have been waiting for this and it sounds amazing. Good for my friend-bad me.

So as much as I try to not be swayed by people's opinions and pressure and prejudice, I still am. I hate that. Why am I so easily swayed. I'm working on it and with God's help I will overcome.

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me.
Psalm 51:10
On another note...Jacob and I leave for Pensacola this morning to see our dear friends, Buck and Rachel Buhler! We are so excited. I know I haven't seen them since they got married almost 2 years ago. We are going to have an awesome weekend. And then when I come back from the weekend there will be my best friend of 10 years whom I haven't seen in a year waiting for me at my house! What blessings!
And...really quick. Last night my home group met at Chris' house for dinner and then we went to the Pickin' Parlor. It's this totally southern, country joint in which people play really old time fiddle-type music. There are people up there with banjos, mandolins, guitars, and the works. Try and imagine it. It's on this road out in the country and what looks like something the Clampets would live has a neon sign over it screaming "Pickin' Parlor" in flourescent pink. You park wherever you can and we all get out of cars in complete excitement about what this place is going to have for us when we enter. We open the door and enter. The old people is the first thing I notice and the second is the distinct smell of what reminds me of a thrift store that is the age of George Washington. The place is warm and very intimate. The first person to greet us is this "special" man who wants to shake each one of our hands as we walk past. The lady running the joint is very hospitable and tries to find each of us a place to sit. We have doubled the number of people there just by entering. The musicians on stage continue in their jovial tune of some song I could not even try to recognize. The small building is lit with christmas lights around the top and interesting little lamps in every corner. There is coffe and tea and homemade soups and cakes for everyone to enjoy. The stage is covered with a backdrop entailing about 8 Amercan flags and rusted aluminum whatevers hanging around it. There are about three older men playing the guitar, another older gentleman playing the banjo, an older lady playing the mandolin, and younger girl in the back playing the bass. (This younger girl looked as if she must have been paid to be there, she definitely didn't look as though it were her choice.) Those men and women were joined by about eight other people on the floor with their own guitars and some people had traveled as far as Nashville to play that night. The music was joyful and fun and made you want to get on your feet and dance with a partner. It was a great time and a great place to take friends, especially ones not from the south.:)

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Comparison of love

Now...maybe I am completely naive about the whole thing. I've never been in love before so I don't really know what it's like, but anyway. Reading through some scripture the other day and some inspiring words from Charles Spurgeon, I got to thinking. (This could be dangerous.) Scripture tells us that we are to love Christ with every ounce of our being and with everything that we have. We are to love Him more than anyone else: mother, father, sister, brother, friend, husband. And...He loves us more than anything else or more than anyone else ever could. He is the only one who can satisfy us and really quench our thirst for the love we desire so much. So...won't love from anyone else just be a disappointment? I mean, someone can love me as hard as they want to, but it will never compare or come close to the love the Christ has for me. And...if I love Christ the way I'm supposed to than my love for someone else on earth will never compare to the love that I have for Christ and it will never be enough for that person either. Just a thought that keeps me going around in circles.

Anyone have a dress I can borrow for our upcoming Christmas formal? I need one badly.

So...9 more days of actual class!!!!!! 28 days until graduation!!!

The funk that I talked about last week has returned. I am not depressed, I do not feel sorry for myself, I'm not mad at anyone, my relationship with Christ is flourishing. After having an absolutely wonderful chat with Beth Marshall on Monday she assured me that it's okay. And after much thought, I'm thinking, you know, I think it's a God-thing. I am definitely hearing Him more clearly since this has happened. So the funk continues, for no obvious reason, but I wait patiently.

Friday, November 12, 2004

A voice

Lately, wait let me think through this. This past week, as I stated earlier, I have been in a little bit of a funk. But...throught this "funk" I have heard God more clearly. I can say that I would know why this is, I didn't talk to as many people and thus were distracted by people's opinions, or I cried out more to God this week than most because of my state, or who knows why. I don't really know why, but yet, there it was. And although I heard his voice very clearly I did not hear the words or maybe I did. Let me explain. This week and weeks prior, but mostly this past week I heard God saying, "More, there's more" Now that is very broad in one sense, but very narrow in another. For you it may be broad, but for me I feel like I know the direction the "more" is saying to go in. I feel like God is telling me, "get more of me, here's more of me, thirst for me, hunger for me, want me more than anything, follow me closely and I will show you, run after me and I will lead you, don't be scared, don't look back, don't think, just go. Leave your world, leave any inclination you had about anything, and trust. Follow the heart I've given you and those passions and desires and see what I have for you. More, there's so much more." It has been tugging and pulling at me for weeks, only to get stronger with each day. My God wants me to know Him and I want to know Him more than anything. Oswald Chambers says, "When once the call of God comes, begin to go and never stop going." And Jesus says, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." I pray I never look back to wonder or think or question, but when my time comes for whatever it is that God has for me that I will go and never stop going. That is my prayer for all of us. God has a life waiting for us that we cannot imagine. I am not talking about our life in Heaven, but our earthly life here. I cannot fathom it, but I know it's great. To let me life go into the hands of someone so much greater than I and someone who loves me more than I could ever love myself is a relief and a gift. I pray I never miss it.

Funk

So...I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. I don't really know why exactly, but I just haven't wanted to be around people in a while. No one has really done anything, it's just something funky. So if anyone thought I was ignoring them this week, I was, but not you directly, just people in general. Sorry. I feel like I'm getting back to my old self finally. That's refreshing.

It's been a whirlwind of a week. My dad lost his job last week, but he has started his own business now and he's very happy. Faith...that's the what the Lord is not only teaching me, but now my entire family. It's pretty exciting!

I went backpacking last weekend with my dad, bro, and cousin. We went up to Jones Gap near Ceasar's Head. We hiked in about a mile and a half Friday night and set up camp and had dinner. And Saturday we hiked about 12 miles around and saw many waterfalls. Both me and my dad happened to accidentally throw our shoes into the river when we were trying to cross, luckily it was near the end of the trip so we didn't have to walk in wet shoes for very long. We hiked out early on Sunday in enough time to make it back to Anderson to attend the 3rd service at New Spring. It definitely applied to us. Great time with the fellas.

33 more days until graduation!!! 27 more days until my last exam forever is over!! 21 more days until my last class is forever over!! And ...12 more days of actual class. I can hardly stand all of the excitement. I am completely thrilled and cannot wait. I know, I know, don't wish this time away. Please don't tell me that. I am excited about it and cannot wait!

Well...got to run, a girl's work is never done:)

Friday, November 05, 2004

The mountains or die!

So...this afternoon I am headed out into the woods for the weekend to go backpacking and camping with my dad, brother, and cousin, Matthew. We're leaving this afternoon and returning Sunday afternoon. It should be fun and I'm excited cause I haven't been in a long time, especially with the fam. I'll let you know how it goes.

This week has been another fun-filled week. My friend Aaron led his roommate to Christ Wednesday night, so that of course was the highlight. I saw Friday night lights last night. Pretty good movie, not as good as Remember the Titans, but still good. Tim McGraw is so mean in that movie, I didn't like that. We started Powder Puff Practice and we have our first game Sunday night against the Rough Tough Pink Stuff. It should be pretty exciting! My roommate, Karla, has been sick now for 10 days. She's finally going to the doctor and I'm glad for her. She's been so frustrated sitting around the house for almost two weeks. I can't imagine. A good friend gave me the best book I've ever read, "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. Amy, thank you for recommending it to me. Shannon, thank you for buying it for me. That book is amazing. I can't put it down. I have been reading that instead of doing school work, whoops. As much as Francine Rivers is a female who writes for females. I think every man should read this book. Michael Hosea shows a perfect example of a man loving his wife. It's the sweetest and the most heart-wrenching. It's wonderful!

40 days until graduation, counting the day of, weekends and Thanksgiving Break. I can't believe it. It's so exciting!!!!!

Let me just say one more time, that home groups are so encouraging. I love going over the Dunagan's house and seeing the same people each week and catching up with them. It's encouraging to hear how God is working in other people's lives as well as mine. I love hearing about it and being able to pray for them and pray over them and carrying each other's burdens. It's wonderful. I'm really going to miss it when I leave. :(