Well...it's definitely been a while, due to the fact that I have had NO TIME WHATSOEVER to write on this blog....until today. I have sent the students along with the intern to a mosque and a Hindu temple. I have the afternoon and evening free. Allelujah!!!!
Gosh, what to talk about. I have so much. Really I do. I know, it's hard to believe right?
Well...first off, things have not been going well AT ALL. I'm having problems with friends, quite a few of them. I feel like such a bad friend because I can't spend time with them and although they say they understand, it's still there. You know? And I'm struggling because right now, when I'm stressed out more than ever and I can't spend as much time with them as normal and I'm consumed with everyone else's problems and issues (the students and intern and travel and planning) is when I need these people the most. Just to share my heart a bit...you know, I go to my small group and I'm usually in a great mood and jovial and happy and excited and talk a lot and everything. Everyone talks to me and we have a great time when I'm like that. But a couple of weeks ago I had had a horrible week and even worse day that particular day and went to small group hoping to find rest and just feel loved by my friends that would be around me. What did I get? Nothing. One person out of 15 talked to me that night. One person. I know this may sound like I'm complaining. But just honestly, it hurt me a lot. I'm still hurt by it. I feel like right now is when I need them and they've let me down. I feel like they're only interested in being friends when I have something to offer them. I know that can't be true, but that's what it feels like. I'm still working through it and God will give me healing from it. People disappoint.
And honestly, all of the junk that's happening right now, I'm sure is an attack from Satan. So many things are going wrong and it's things that shouldn't be. They're little and sound stupid but are having huge consequences. I'm exhausted and tired and I'm getting sick and getting down. But it's funny, last night and this morning God spoke to me about it. He asked me to come to Him. He would give me rest. Rest in Him. I'm trying, I don't know that I'm doing all that well. But still trying. I'm trying to remember that He's in control of all of this. Satan can try and get me distracted and can try and mess things up but God is sovereign. He reigns and this is His trip. This is His team. I am His child. He is our (my) protector. He is my guide. He is my strength. He is my sustainer. He is truth. He is love. [That was mostly for my benefit. That last bit:) Just reminding myself.]
Gosh, what a hard four weeks. Last time I wrote I was talking about all that I was learning. I'm sure I've learned a lot these last two weeks as well, but I'm not sure what it is at this moment. Perhaps I'm not quite done. And anyway, I don't have to know what He's teaching me. He'll let me know when the time is right. Perhaps while I'm on the long flight from Chicago to Delhi He'll tell me:)
But great news! My daddy is coming! He was supposed to come on Thursday, but it's been moved to Friday afternoon and then he's leaving on Friday. But nonetheless, I get to see him and he gets to be there with me at the Concert of Prayer and to see me off at the airport. What a great mom and dad I have! This is such a blessing for me:)
So...I leave for India in three days! Can you believe it? I was talking to my friend today about spiritual warfare. I have to admit, I have always been uncomfortable talking about it or thinking about it. But it's real and it's there. And when I talked about being attacked by Satan earlier, Linda was reminding me that he wouldn't be attacking if I were not a threat. As much as I don't like being attacked...what an honor! I must be a threat. I know God has something huge planned for us or through us. It doesn't matter which. I'm excited to be in the hands of God. What a thrill!
I know this has been like a rollercoaster but that's how I"m thinking these days so please bear with me:) Thank you for your prayers. I'll be posting while I'm overseas. Keep a lookout. Love you all!
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Running Hard,
Kathryn
But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. ...Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.
Philippians 3:12-14
