Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Feels like Friday and summer at the same time

Doesn't it feel absolutely wonderful outside? For those of you NOT in Colorado, it's blue skies and 70 degrees out. It's beautiful. It's a drive down the road with hair pulled up, sweater off (shirt underneath still on), windows down, sunroof open and flip-flops on kind of day. Definitely a day to get a slushie and sit outside and do work. You know? It feels like it should be Friday and because it's not you would think that that would be horribly bad, but you know, it's not. It's a great day!

Don't you just want to skip around?

Monday, March 27, 2006

An article

So I was reading Relevant Magazine at the gym this morning and stumbled upon an interesting article titled "Not One of Those Christians" by Cameron Strang.  Interesting and very appropriate for where I am right now.  I give you a few pieces of the article first.
 
"We cringe every time we see Pat Robertson on the news.  So, we do everything we can to not be identified as one of those Christians.  We try to get outside of the Christian bubble, love others, be open minded and live in freedom.  So we drink-but just in moderation, of course.  We cuss, but just for humor or effect.  We watch movies that our pastor wouldn't, but it's because we're a lot more in touch than he is.  We criticize TBN, cheesy Christian music and everything else about the Christian subculture.  We hang out at bars and clubs, originally to be "light in the darkness," but now really just for a good time. 
 
And here we are, without even realizing it, living exactly like the world.....
 
....We look to one side and see Christianity being mocked in the media because of stupid public statements by leaders who make us all look like idiots. 
 
But so what?
 
We look to the other side and see a free-will, all-paths-lead-to-heaven kind of Christianity that renders our faith copmletely ineffective out of fear that we might offen someone who doesn't agree with us.
 
But again, so what?
 
Neither of those need to define us.  What other people do is of zero consequence to how we have to live our lives.  The decisions we make and the love we show to others are completely up to us.  No one else will account for your life but you.
 
So how are you using it?
 
Like most of us, I'm tired of being clumped in with stereotypical, suburbanm, materialistic Christianity.  But we can't throw the baby out with the bathwater.  I believe that God wants us to think for ourselves and follow the Spirit.  If it's scriptural, we've got to deal with it.  But if a man came up with it, I give it a healthy dose of skepticism.  It's called discernment.
 
We need to not only embrace grace and freedom, but remember that we're called apart, that what we have in our spiritis separates us from the world.  We are supposed to be in the world, but not of it.  We have a hope and a freedom and a faith that the world is looking for, and they need to see that difference in us. Otherwise, what's the point."
 
It kind of hits on what I was talking two posts ago.  I liked what it had to say because I struggle with this exact topic.
 
And yesterday...great day!  Church was awesome.  I went to the first service, two reasons really.  I honestly didn't feel like socializing so I went to avoid a lot of people and two because I had to go into the office to get ready for a presentation on Monday that I wasn't prepared for.  But I got it done quickly, went home and had the chicken pot pie that Brynn and I had made.  I made chocolate peanut butter bars and fruit dip.  I clipped coupons (a Sunday ritual) and I did a major overhauling of the fridge.  It looks so neat and tidy now.  I don't know how long it will stay that way, but for now I can smile about.  I also was long overdue for some laundry being done, so I did that and all I have to do now is fold it all. 
 
I concluded my evening with "The Mix", fellowship night for the high schoolers at my church.  (That's why I was doing all the baking!)  I had so much fun.  I connected with some more of the girls and had a great time.  I'm excited that I'm already connecting with them and I haven't even started leading the small group yet.  I hope this is the beginning of something great that's coming!  I had a great time talking and hanging out with the other female leaders, Cerise, Tracey, and Margaret. We always laugh so much and just speak honestly about what's going on in our lives.  It was great to just "be". 
 
I'm going to work on just "be"ing today (after my presentation where I need to be all smiles:)). 
 
Love you, mean it!


--
Running Hard,

Kathryn

But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. ...Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.
Philippians 3:12-14

Sunday, March 26, 2006

An idea from God Himself

Last night I invited my friend Natalie over for dinner. I haven't seen or talked to her in way too long and she only lives 20 minutes away. I missed her. A little side note: dinner was delicious. I made a mango avocado salad with candied spice pecans (I candied and spiced them myself)! We had bread with it and some fruit and I fruit dip that I had made. It was sooo good.

But that wasn't the idea from God. The idea was to invite Natalie over in the first place. I must admit I didn't realize it was a God-given idea until after-the-fact. But it was obvious why He did it, for so many reasons.

I had told you about a spiritual "funk" I'm in. And not that talking to her made me get out of it, but she helped me to see that I'm crazy or that there's something "wrong" with me. She helped me to see that I need to take some time away from life for a while and just rest in God. There are so many things that I haven't dealt with that have happened to me in the past five months. I haven't processed through anything that's been going on with me spiritually or emotionally. I have been shoving them under the rug because I haven't had time to deal with it. I can feel it now. That rug that I've been shoving things under has a huge pile of "junk" under it that I need to go through and think through and pray through. This will take some time, I know, but I want to give it the time it deserves so that I can receive the healing that I need.

And...As much as I'm a little tired of talking about India because it was a bad trip, I realized this morning that I have debriefed the whole team, even the other leader on what they learned and their hardships and what God did in them, but I have not been debriefed myself and I need that. I need to not share things from a work perspective, but a Kathryn perspective.

So you see, last night was God's idea and I'm glad. I didn't realize how much I needed that. I bought a new journal this morning on my way to church because I feel like I need to start over in my spiritual walk and in my ideas, thoughts, feelings, friendships and life in general. And so ...I thought...I need a journal too, let's start everything over!

Friday, March 24, 2006

What's going on?

Gosh...it's been forever hasn't it? I'm sure there's actually no one checking this now. But I'll still write. I have hope:)

So...I'm in a spiritual funk, just to be honest. You know Christianeze? I don't think that's actually a word. But I've been surrounded by a couple of people that are super over spiritual about things. Do you know what I mean? Like what they're saying and doing is fake and can't possibly be real. If you know what I mean you know what I mean. But if you don't than I can't possibly explain it to you, sorry. You know it when you see it. Anyway, I've been surrounded by these people and it kind of makes me sick and makes me want nothing to do with it. Real life walks and faith and hardships is what I want to see from people. Anyway, that doesn't really explain what's going on I guess, that's just part of it.

I'm struggling with wanting to do anything related to Christianity or my walk. I mean, I want it. I'm hungry for it and I desire it but there's something keeping me from it.

I think I'm running from something...or someone.

I just have to find my footing I guess and figure some things out. The past two months have really made me evaluate a lot of things/people in my life. It's good, but a little scary and uncomfortable at the same time. But yeah, definitely not on a spiritual mountain right now, that's for sure. So...there you have. it.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Colorado-home sweet home

I'm back in Colorado now and was greeted last night with snow!  It was so weird to be back in cold weather after being in hot/warm weather in India.  I was looking forward to the warm weather and wearing sandals and cute spring clothes, but I'm all bundled up again for winter in Colorado.  But I'm still glad to be back.  And after getting home I wished that I had cleaned my room before I left, but I didn't.  That's a project for today or tomorrow during my time off.  Wish me luck.
 
I can't wait to see everyone.  I've missed you all so much while gone.  I want to do something fun this weekend too!  Anyone up for it?
 
I've learned a lot and something that God was working in me before I left, but I don't have a lot of time to really go into it right now.  I will soon, probably Monday.  Are you eager to hear about it?  It's good!  Love you all!