Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Car stuff

Well...I took my car in for it's 3-month check-up and got an oil change and the fluids topped off. I've also been having trouble with it accelerating so I took it in to see what the problem was. Or I should say "problems". Yeah, there were tons apparently. I just got the breakpads replaced last week and I knew that I had a torn boot on my front passenger tire.

So I find out to day that my wires, something, and something need to be replaced because there's oil leaking into my spark plugs and so forth, thus the problem accelerating. And...oh yes, there's more. I need a catalytic converter replaced as well as an emission sensor replaced, and O2 sensor replaced and a new battery (yeah, it's about to die). So there you have it. I thought there was one problem, but there are many. The wires and the somethings are going to cost me almost $600 to fix and that's just today. The rest will have to wait until the July paycheck and maybe August and so forth, I don't know.

I feel like I should be freaking out more than I am. Maybe I'm just naive, I don't know. Just praying that God is going to provide somehow. I know He can. Please join me in praying!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Convictions

Last week my small group read through Romans 14. It basically talks about how we all have personal convictions that God has given each of us. Some of them are very different than others ones, but we shouldn't expect people to live by our convictions. Believe it or not, this is something that God has been teaching me for a few months now. There are few convictions that God has laid on my heart that He hasn't laid on other people's. And honestly, I was expecting other people to live by them. I was in the mindset that because they were convictions that they were definites between right and wrong. But that wasn't the case. That's what God has been showing me. Just because it's bad for me doesn't mean it's bad for others. And just because it's right for me doesn't mean it's right for others. It's personal.

So...like I said, this is a lesson that I've been learning through my personal times with God and then we go to study this chapter and well...let's just say that I was speechless while reading it. I honestly tried so hard to plead my case with God while I was reading it. I was looking for something to back my opinion up. The only problem? There was nothing there. I was wrong, and dead wrong (at least on the issue of right and wrong). Through grace and some gently nudging while reading it over for the 3rd and 4th times I realized this and was most definitely put in my place.

I felt ashamed and felt really bad. How many relationships had I messed up because of my stubbornness and most of all my judgmental attitude towards people? I don't know, but plenty I'm sure.

But there was one verse that continued to stick out to me. "Make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." Romans 14:13

This verse confused me a bit. I know, sounds pretty simple.

Most people who either new me well from South Carolina and those who know me now and knew me when I first moved to Colorado can testify that I've changed at least a small bit. I'm not as conservative as I once used to be. There's nothing wrong with being conservative. I actually like it verses the other way, but that's just a preference. But I was so conservative it was definitely legalism. Since moving to Colorado a lot of my views, opinions and beliefs have been challenged. I'm glad. It's forced me to ask myself, "Why do you think the way you do? Why do you believe what you believe? Why do you act that way?j" With careful examination of these questions and the things that go along with it I have changed some of my opinions, but many of them have remained the same. Why? Because I really do believe them and feel very strongly about them.

I'm glad I feel strongly about them. I don't want to waver on the convictions that God has placed on my life and there are definite reasons why I feel the way I do. So...all that to say, I have tried harder than ever to reexamine most everything and look at it fresh and sometimes I have come back to right where I have started.

A lot of these convictions were actually stirred by the above verse in Romans. I don't ever want to be the person that gets in the way of the gospel or people's growth. I want God to work through me, not around me. Out of love for people, I want to help them, not hurt them. If there were someone who struggled with gluteny or was even just trying to lose weight and they needed help by not offering chocolate or dessert to them or having that as a temptation for them, we should do that. Not everything has to be spiritual. I have a couple of friends that don't watch any "R" rated films. I don't have that same conviction. But out of respect for them when I'm around them I shouldn't either and I shouldn't suggest it or tease them about it, telling them that they need to lighten up about it. I love them.

I think the thing that I am confused/don't get about all of this is why it doesn't happen all that often. I often feel like people want to tell me all about Romans 14 in the sense that I need to keep my personal convictions to myself and not put them on other people. Thank you. I am learning that lesson as we speak. And I'm truly sorry for doing that to all of you, I know I have. But what about the above mentioned verse about loving your friends/neighbors and helping them out when they have convictions that aren't your own? That's where I feel like I (or even other people similar to myself) don't get the same respect back. A lot of times people get laughed at for convictions that seem silly to other people and they get totally blown off. Why?

Paul was addressing both the criticized and the criticizer in this chapter. Both sides were guilty of wrongdoing, not just one side. I think there's a balance that needs to be addressed.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Maximum Love

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your stength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts."
Deutoronomy 6:4-6
Now Compare:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind', and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
Luke 10:27
The difference I wanted to point out was that in Deut. there are only three "with all"s and in Luke there are four. The one in Luke has added on the "with all your mind". In Hebrew, the word used Deut. where "heart" is mentioned means both heart and mind. It's like it is saying "with all your heart/mind". But in Luke they spell it out clearly wanting to be all-inclusive for us who didn't know the Hebrew all that well. Our heart and mind is one in the same. Many times people try to separate the two, but they cannot be separated, they are undoubtedly tied together and work together. It's beauty really.
There was a lesson taught on the scripture in Deut. while we were at camp the other week. God spoke so loudly to me during this that I wanted to share what I learned. Here goes...
In the first scripture (Deut.) there are some key words spoken. Immediately I think they have to be the words "love", but they aren't. The key words are "with all". Think about it. Aren't those incredibly big words? If you repeat them over and over the resinate inside don't they? They seem to get stronger and stronger.
Love God with all your heart/mind. That's everything you feel and think. Love God with all your soul. That's everything that makes up who you are. What else is there? Love God with all your strength. This is really a word in Hebrew that we don't have an English word equal to so we did the best we could and came up with strenght. The Hebrew word is really a word that puts finality and emphasis or intensity on-meaning with all your all. It's saying to give whatever there could possibly be left to give in love, give it.
Every decision I make throughout the day is an opportunity to love God. Every part of my life is a new way to love and worship God. I'll be done loving God when I've given every drop of spit I've ever had to love Him. Therefore...I'll never be done.
You know, there was a great point that was made during this class. Girls, we love to be romanced. Guys, I think, but am not sure, that you like to romance girls, when it's the right one. Why don't we romance God? We try and be so creative in romancing people on earth, but we lift of rituals to God and think that's enough. Romance is not legalistic or rule-bound-it is: freestyle, creative, my own and a pouring out of my heart. Let's do the things that no can teach us how to do in worship and love to Him.
God really, really loves us. A concept I don't think I'll ever understand. Check out some of these verses:
[Keep me as the apple of your eye. Psalm 17:8a]
[And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:5]
[How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1]
[We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19]
When you know how much someone loves you, the natural response is to love them back.
God waits to be wanted. ~A.W. Tozer
"So long as we imagine it is we who have to look for God, we must often lose heart. But it si the other way about-He is looking for us."
~Simon Tugwell
So we have to ask ourselves, do we truly know and accept how much God loves us?
"Give me 100 preachers who hate nothing but sin and love nothing but the Lord adn the world will be turned upside-down."
~John Wesley
What about 12 people? Jesus wanted 12 who hated nothing but sin and loved nothing but God. What about one?

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Time well-spent

I am so extremely tired. I have been out late the past two nights with friends. I have had a ball, but have regretted it in the morning. I went walking Sunday night and ran into Shannon and Dan outside my apartment building and they invited me to join them for a golf game around our complex playing with a wiffle ball. We had an absolute ball. It was great! They taught me how to swing the golf club. I will be eternally grateful as I feel I can partake in something my dad and brother enjoy. Then last night our normal work crew at Confluence Ministries went back downtown to help. The boys put up doors and the other girls did some cleaning while I learned how to do some staining. I did manage to get it all over me. (I'm still sticky.)

I should have known this would happen, but the boys started talking about food and then they decided that we were all going to go eat, which was fine with me. I can always eat! We all headed to Ginger's to delight ourselves in carrots, some spinach appetizers, frozen pizza and lemonade. Delicious! There's nothing better than spur of the moment food from the freezer! I introduced them to speed scrabble and we played some card games. Shannon showed us his card tricks. (I'm still amazed!) And we watched some of the World Cup. Does anyone know the team who's abbreviation is KSA? It's driving me nuts! Anyway, I didn't get to bed until 12:30 and I'm beat!

But the best part of all of this is that I know Ginger, Shannon and John better than I used to. And it's not stupid stuff, it's meaningful things about them. We all got to share our hearts and what made them beat so to speak. It's neat to hear. So it was all time well-spent.

Friday, June 16, 2006

I just got back from the mountains in Divide, CO.  I was there five days and they were amazing for me spiritually!  I got so much alone time with God. 

 

These past five days of so much time alone with God have begun stirring things inside of me again.

 

Do any of you have these things/feelings/dreams/convictions that stir inside of you over and over again but you’re not sure what they’re there for or if they’ll ever be satisfied?  That’s me.  I’m noticing a pattern.  Every time I can get away from the business of my life and focus my heart/mind on God these things start to stir in me again.  It’s like another heartbeat.  I’m not calling this coincidence.  I think I finally get away from the “noise” and can hear God’s voice speak to me.  I just don’t know what to do about it quite yet.

 

God has been faithful once again.  I have been praying that He would provide for me financially into my support account just until I can get back east to do some more support raising and He’s done just that!  I have had three gifts come in in the past two weeks that will cover my very large deficit for the next two months!  He’s heard my prayers and answered my cry.  Praise God!

 

There’s so much more that I’ve learned.  I’ll come back to it cause I can’t wait to share it with you.

 

Thursday, June 08, 2006

ow!

So...I have been having major trouble with my right eye this week.  I went to the eye doctor on Tuesday with much pain and redness.  He said I had an ulcer forming and put me on antibiotic drops. 
 
Wednesday morning I woke up with my eye swolen shut!  I couldn't see and I was in immense pain.  I went to the eye doctor again yesterday to which he said that the ulcer had formed on my eye and he upped the drops to every 30 minutes. 
 
I will be headed back to the eye doctor this morning for a follow-up appointment. 
 
Have you guys ever had this before?  It's extremely painful and irritating.  My eye is completely bloodshot and a still a little swolen.  I definitely don't look my best today.  But at least I'm functioning again.
 
I leave for camp tomorrow with the TLI students.  I'm so excited!  We always have a ball up there!  Keep us in your prayers as we're traveling to Divide tomorrow.
 
Oh, I didn't update, but there were 32 youth at church last Sunday night!  That's the most we've had in 6 months!  And...two people accepted Christ last Sunday!  God's moving!
 
And...pray for my dad as he's climbing Mt. Whitney in California this weekend. 
 
Happy Birthday Jenn!