God's grace, faithfulness and beauty

I know...it's weird. I'm writing on a day other than Friday. Well...I actually have some time, so here I go.

God has been doing amazing things in my life lately. I'm going to be frank and honest right now. I have been about to burst at the seems with excitement and love for my God who is truly the most beautiful person in the world. The essence of Him is beauty, He cries it with every breath.
Anyway, I've been about to burst. Really, what I want is to share openly with someone, anyone who will listen to how great He is. He has been more than gracious to me in this past month. But I don't feel like there is anyone to share with. Something awoke inside of me about 3-4 weeks ago one afternoon while sitting on bed praying and crying out to Him with everything I had in me. Crying with sorrow and pain and it was in that moment that I felt Him holding me close to him. One thing that I long for more than anything when I get to Heaven is His arms around me holding me close. He knew that and He gave me that while I was still on earth when I needed it most. He knew my heart and He heardto my cry. I took my troubles to the Lord; I cried out to him, and he answered my prayer. Psalm 120:1 Since that moment that afternoon on my bed I feel as though my eyes have been opened to the beauty of Christ and the beauty of all He has made and what He is doing in the lives of His children. I feel enormous gratitude and thankfulness for...well...everything. Really. Words really cannot explain the desiring of my heart right now or all the thoughts, visions, ideas, dreams, love that I have filling me at this moment. I've been fearful that this amazing gift of gratitude and overwhelming peace will leave me. That the joy I've found would somehow disappear, but it's not. It never will, I pray it won't anyway. I have been more happy these past weeks than I have ever been in my whole life despite circumstances and the fact nothing spectacular has happened to me in the world's eyes. I want Him, I desire Him and nothing is getting in my way of getting Him. I want to love the things that He loves and hate the things that He hates. I want to see the world through His beautiful eyes and love His children with his beautiful heart. God has given me a gift that I am eternally grateful for. I don't just mean my salvation, that is only a small part. But rather, the ability to love people more than they ask of me, the ability to see pain and want it gone, the ability to trust Him with everything that envelopes me, the ability to cry and to laugh and rejoice in a friend like no other. I know God has something incredible planned for my life. That has been told to me my entire life, but I now believe it. I am going to do something great for God. It will be for God and for no other. Not a single person in this world may ever know what it is or may ever know the deepest longings and joys of my heart, but my God does and He will hold me close one day. He'll hold me closer than anyone else and every second of every minute of every day will be worth it for that moment.

As if that weren't long enough, I've decided that since I'm busting at the seems to share about the incredible things that God reveals to me and teaches me and breaks me with, I'm using this amazing opportunity of blogging to share. Thanks for reading and always keep me in your prayers that this deep longing and love my Savior would never, never go away.