So much
I'm having a really down day. Feeling very blah! I slept in until 7:00! I think that is part of my problem. But yeah, I feel yuck today and just kind of sad. I'm having a little pity party for myself waiting for today to be over so that I can go back to my normal self tomorrow. I hope I'm back tomorrow otherwise people may start talking and we don't want that.
Monday night I spent a lot of time with God at Barnes & Noble. I know, other people sit on the porch or in the grass or out in nature or something. My favorite spot? A table with some coffe on it that's calling my name. Yup! That's me!
I had been craving that time all day and just wanted to leave work and go do it, but waited. I had a few questions that needed to be answered. And for the most part they were.
I think I was getting a little ahead of myself with the questions, asking way out in the future without getting a beginning question answered first. So...God, having clarity of mind and knowing chronilogically what should happen next, answered in the right order.
I had a few things confirmed and in my prayers asked for more confirmation through the Word in addition to that still small voice. (God speaks through that still small voice, His Word, circumstances, and other people.) He did that. I asked and He answered, still confirmed. It was wonderful. Here I am again though, asking more questions. Those answers have posed a few more questions in me that are worth asking. So I asked and I sit waiting...again.
The answers will come in the right timing.
One more thing...I'm really struggling right now with understanding God's ways. Before I tell ya'll this, I'm kind of embarassed (in a way) to say it. Ya'll know that I had been praying for God's provision for me financially for my support account. And with many gifts last month that were unexpected, I thought I had enough to cover my deficit. I didn't. I guess I didn't realize how much the deficit really was, but I didn't even get my full paycheck this month because of it.
I'm kind of embarassed because I had told people how God had provided for me and it was awesome to see how everyone rejoiced with me and was happy with me. I was thrilled! And then, it wasn't enough. I'm kind of at a loss now as to what to do. I feel let down or tricked. I know God doesn't do that, it's not in His character. God promises to provide and if that was the money that came in last month than that is what I needed, right? I'm waiting for God to do another miracle.
You can put two and two together here and realize that if I didn't get my full paycheck this month with an extra $1200 that came in last month than imagine what August's paycheck is going to look like? ...praying for a miracle to happen!
Monday night I spent a lot of time with God at Barnes & Noble. I know, other people sit on the porch or in the grass or out in nature or something. My favorite spot? A table with some coffe on it that's calling my name. Yup! That's me!
I had been craving that time all day and just wanted to leave work and go do it, but waited. I had a few questions that needed to be answered. And for the most part they were.
I think I was getting a little ahead of myself with the questions, asking way out in the future without getting a beginning question answered first. So...God, having clarity of mind and knowing chronilogically what should happen next, answered in the right order.
I had a few things confirmed and in my prayers asked for more confirmation through the Word in addition to that still small voice. (God speaks through that still small voice, His Word, circumstances, and other people.) He did that. I asked and He answered, still confirmed. It was wonderful. Here I am again though, asking more questions. Those answers have posed a few more questions in me that are worth asking. So I asked and I sit waiting...again.
The answers will come in the right timing.
One more thing...I'm really struggling right now with understanding God's ways. Before I tell ya'll this, I'm kind of embarassed (in a way) to say it. Ya'll know that I had been praying for God's provision for me financially for my support account. And with many gifts last month that were unexpected, I thought I had enough to cover my deficit. I didn't. I guess I didn't realize how much the deficit really was, but I didn't even get my full paycheck this month because of it.
I'm kind of embarassed because I had told people how God had provided for me and it was awesome to see how everyone rejoiced with me and was happy with me. I was thrilled! And then, it wasn't enough. I'm kind of at a loss now as to what to do. I feel let down or tricked. I know God doesn't do that, it's not in His character. God promises to provide and if that was the money that came in last month than that is what I needed, right? I'm waiting for God to do another miracle.
You can put two and two together here and realize that if I didn't get my full paycheck this month with an extra $1200 that came in last month than imagine what August's paycheck is going to look like? ...praying for a miracle to happen!
1 Comments:
Don't worry, we still rejoice with you, and know we'll be praising God again and again. Tough not knowing and being unsure, but it's cool when He answers.
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