Running and running and running and running...

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7

Yesterday in church we had the BEST message I think I've ever heard there-at least one of the best. In the beginning they talked about loving your friends and what it means to lay your life down for them. And I thought, "What does it mean to lay down my life for my friends?" And...what is a true friend?

Then they went into martyrs and the story of Stephen. Which brings me to another interesting point. Every time scripture talks about Jesus being at the right hand of God it says he is "seated at the right hand of God". But in Acts when Stephen is dying he looks up and sees Jesus "standing at the right hand of God". Interesting isn't it? I have NEVER seen that or realized it before. I thought it was neat.

Anyway, the service went through all the martyrs of the Bible and told a little bit about their story and then told of other martyrs around the world. It referred to the scripture that I mentioned at the beginning as something that Paul said at the end of his life and then it hit me right between the eyes.

I had quit running.

(Sinking stomach.)

I have always thought of myself as someone who persevered through anything. I never thought I quit anything. I'm a fighter; a survivor. Right? Well...I don't know. I think in most things I am. But in this instance, my spiritual relationship got REALLY hard in India and when I got back I was so tired from fighting for it through that whole month in India that I just stopped. I quit running. I'm so mad at myself, but thankful that I now see what I did. And you know, it's not something that I may feel like doing, but I just have to make a decision and do it, right?

I mean, listen to how God has worked this in me. I have kind of recently began to enjoy running. I enjoy it so much that sometimes I go twice a day. I know, weird, huh? Anyway, there are some points where I'm tired and I want to stop, but I think to myself, "Kathryn, you're just tired, you're not going to die. Suck it up and KEEP RUNNING!"

So the same goes for my spiritual walk. I'm sucking it up and I'm going to keep running! Who wants to cheer me on!?!?!?! And where's that finish line? It's Heaven baby! All I got to say is that I hope there's a ribbon to run through and a huge thing of orange Gatorade waiting for me:)

On another completely different note. I'm reading this AMAZING book called "Non Violent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshal Rosenburg. This is a must-read for anyone planning on not living like a hermit for the rest of their life. Really, it's extremely helpful on how to communicate with people and how to receive what they're saying as well. I've only read about 25 pages and it's already changed a lot of how I think and talk.

Point is...I'm talking to a friend the other night and we grew up very differently, mainly in two very different parts of the country which bring different cultures in. I thought we were just sharing and talking and then it turned into something different. I think... I tried my best not to give an opinion but actual facts and I'm pretty sure that's what I did. But we were talking about alcohol.

I don't find anything wrong with it as long as it's legal, is not abused and it used in controlled situations and environments. He had said that me and another friend of ours (me and this friend are both from the South) were legalistic. You know, I can say that I may have legalistic tendencies and so could she, but it's not fair to make such a judgment on us based on a few instances or situations and to make such a generalization on all people from the South.

I was trying to help him understand that in the South it is taught that alcohol is bad and people who drink alcohol are bad. Now I know that this is a wrong generalization made by the South in regards to other people. But there it is nonetheless. This teaching if you will is taught by the church in A LOT of churches, not all mind you, but a lot and I was taught it be EVERYONE that surrounded me. I was just trying to explain to him that when that's all you're taught by anyone and everyone that's influential in your life, it's hard to think any differently you know?

That's why I'm so glad I moved out of there at least for a little while. I was exposed to new things and new thinking, some of which is not prefferable, but some is great!

This guy just responded to me talking about the South with, "Haven't you read the Bible? Why don't you read it and think for yourself?" Okay, that's nice, right? I never responded. What was I going to say to someone who didn't seem like they wanted to hear anyone's thoughts or opinoins on it. He just didn't seem like he wanted to understand at all.

You know, I know that I have a lot of things that I need to work through. But I'm trying. I'm trying really hard. I have come such a long way since I left the South. Now, there are some things that I don't like about the South like the legalism that CAN be present as well as the racism and I definitely don't like the humidity. But there are some wonderful things about the South liek the traditions, the history, the architecture, the scenery, the family-style atmosphere, the chivalry and the etiquette. I have been hard-pressed to find much of that out here. And although there are instances of legalism in some old-school churches there, there are amazing mega-churches popping up there that are doing AWESOME things for God. Check out New Spring Community Church at www.newspring.cc or North Point Community Church at www.northpoint.org

I'm not sure where I was going with all of that except to say that you shouldn't judge someone based on others and based on a few things you've heard. Get to know me first, I'm not bad, really. And the other is that we should always be open to listening to others and trying to understand. Thanks to all of you who listen and listen well. I love you.