A brother's mercy
Since Friday night there has been a tugging on my heart of conviction. Thursday night I called a brother out. I did it in front of everyone. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done it in front of others. I shouldn't have done it the way I did. I shouldn't have done it all. I was completely wrong!
Most of Friday I was still trying to justify my actions. It wasn't until Friday night that I started thinking, I have just damaged something here. And Saturday morning while talking to a friend, I knew that I needed to apologize, I just didn't want to because of a lot of other issues. God was breaking me, but I wasn't broken yet.
Sunday morning's sermon was on loving the least of these; loving sinners. I knew right from the start that this message was speaking directly to me so I opened my heart and told God to hit right where it hurt. He had something to tell me and I wanted to listen and hear it!
And boy did He speak! I was so convicted that me, this person in "ministry" was horrible at loving the least of these. The fact is, I don't know that many people that aren't Christians. I pretty much love those people that are like me. They're the easiest to love you know. But hey, didn't Jesus talk something about loving those that are easy to love vs. loving those that are hard to love? Yeah, I think He did.
I am a religious person.
Sunday afternoon I was watching a movie that a friend let me borrow, "Luther". (Very good btw.) I saw Luther reaching out to people and loving on them despite what the church said he should be doing as someone in clergy. There is was again.
And finally I was broken. I needed forgiveness, not only from God but from this brother of mine.
I wanted to meet with him in person but wouldn't see him for a few more days so I gave him a call and asked for his forgiveness, which he freely gave. I thought that would probably be the end of the whole conversation. He asked why I was doing and I explained. And then he blew me away. In a moment where he had every right to scold me and bury me with shame he showered mercy and grace on me and even encouraged me. I was so stunned and shocked that I couldn't say anything. In those few little words that he spoke to me I experienced Christ through someone else like I have NEVER felt or seen in my entire life. Isn't that the perfect representation of Christ?
Afterwards it made me laugh because even after I thought I had "learned the lesson" God was still teaching me. He showed me that yes, I am way too judgmental of most of everyone and have an incredible pride about me that does not glorify God and further the Kingdom. If anything, it damages it and pushes people away. That is not my intent ever, if anything, I want to push people towards God and the love that He has for them. But in my own attempts I fail and bring shame instead of succeed and bring glory.
But today is a new day and God is full of grace and mercy for me and my faults for which I am incredibly thankful!
Most of Friday I was still trying to justify my actions. It wasn't until Friday night that I started thinking, I have just damaged something here. And Saturday morning while talking to a friend, I knew that I needed to apologize, I just didn't want to because of a lot of other issues. God was breaking me, but I wasn't broken yet.
Sunday morning's sermon was on loving the least of these; loving sinners. I knew right from the start that this message was speaking directly to me so I opened my heart and told God to hit right where it hurt. He had something to tell me and I wanted to listen and hear it!
And boy did He speak! I was so convicted that me, this person in "ministry" was horrible at loving the least of these. The fact is, I don't know that many people that aren't Christians. I pretty much love those people that are like me. They're the easiest to love you know. But hey, didn't Jesus talk something about loving those that are easy to love vs. loving those that are hard to love? Yeah, I think He did.
I am a religious person.
Sunday afternoon I was watching a movie that a friend let me borrow, "Luther". (Very good btw.) I saw Luther reaching out to people and loving on them despite what the church said he should be doing as someone in clergy. There is was again.
And finally I was broken. I needed forgiveness, not only from God but from this brother of mine.
I wanted to meet with him in person but wouldn't see him for a few more days so I gave him a call and asked for his forgiveness, which he freely gave. I thought that would probably be the end of the whole conversation. He asked why I was doing and I explained. And then he blew me away. In a moment where he had every right to scold me and bury me with shame he showered mercy and grace on me and even encouraged me. I was so stunned and shocked that I couldn't say anything. In those few little words that he spoke to me I experienced Christ through someone else like I have NEVER felt or seen in my entire life. Isn't that the perfect representation of Christ?
Afterwards it made me laugh because even after I thought I had "learned the lesson" God was still teaching me. He showed me that yes, I am way too judgmental of most of everyone and have an incredible pride about me that does not glorify God and further the Kingdom. If anything, it damages it and pushes people away. That is not my intent ever, if anything, I want to push people towards God and the love that He has for them. But in my own attempts I fail and bring shame instead of succeed and bring glory.
But today is a new day and God is full of grace and mercy for me and my faults for which I am incredibly thankful!
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