Lots of changes

Well...here goes.

I have resigned from Kingdom Building Ministries.

God has been working in my heart so much in the past year, but mostly in the past six months, it's been amazing!

God has always given me a heart for the nations. Well, since high school anyway. I heard God's tugging on my heart the summer after my senior year in high school, but I wasn't ready for that. It scared me. So I went on for years being highly interested, but that was as far as I would let my heart go.

Last summer God took my heart to another level and I was ready to make the step to some degree. But it was a question of will I obey or won't I? And...the timing wasn't right.

With my job being kind of up in the air after August I really started seeking God on what my next steps would be. Was it time to move on? Or was this a waiting time for me?

At the beginning of June, with much preparation done on my heart, God asked me if I would go internationally for Him and on behalf of Him. This time it was different because I had grown since last summer. It was no longer a question of will I be obedient. I had to be obedient. I wanted to be obedient no matter the cost.

I never want God to not find me dependable. I don't ever want Him to think that He can't ask anything of me because I didn't do what He asked last time.

The big question...do I fear anything more than I fear hurting my relationship with Him? No! I don't want to hurt that relationship, that's why obedience to WHATEVER He asks me to do is a must and not a question. I told Him that I surrendered all to Him, and everything that I'm aware I needed to surrender has been surrendered. My life is His and others, not even mine, especially not mine.

I asked that God confirm the calling through scripture. He did; multiple times! He confirmed it in Hebrews, in Exodus, in Isaiah and in John. It was amazing.

So at the beginning of June, I knew that international ministry was my next step after KBM. But where to? The world is a big place! So...I started praying about that one too! God continually put a country on my heart, one that I've never wanted to go to, but I couldn't fight it any longer.

I am headed to east Asia for two years! But when?

Immediately! God put an urgency on my heart that this needed to start happening now and I didn't need to wait on it. So I haven't. I have applied with two organizations and am waiting to hear back. My goal is to leave for overseas at the beginning of 2007. I am leaving KBM at the end of October.

This has all happened so quickly I know, but God's hand is all over this and I'm ready! God is still preparing me for this and teaching me so much along the way about myself, our relationship, faith, trusting Him (right now I have no idea what I'll do there or where I'll go inside that country!) and leaving my life in America behind. I have moments where I'm sad and worried about how in the world is He going to use ME? But God is good and reassures me over and over that His power is made perfect in my weakness and where I'll go and what I'll do is not for me to know right now. I am to trust and follow just like Abraham!

So...here I go!