new beginnings

A few hours ago I heard an incredible message called, "In God's Eyes". Oh, for those who don't know, I am here in Aurora, CO at Kingdom Building Ministries working as summer staff. Anyway, at the present time there The Laborer's Institute is going on. So....I went in on this class and it's basically about God's love for me. This, of course, is nothing new that I've never heard before, but still God spoke to me in a special way. Dave (the guy who spoke) kept telling us that we make God smile, He finds pleasure in us, etc. And at the very beginning he tells us not to put up a screen or a wall for some people. This is what I found myself doing. It was not until after Dave spoke when I was sitting with my journal reflecting that I realized what a huge impact his message had on me. I have to realize that God does not see me, think about me, or react to me in the same way as anyone on this earth. He is one of His own. He is His own holy person. (I know this seems like duh, I know this, but for some it takes longer for it to really, truly sink in.) I have no right to think that God looks at me the same way anyone else does. God is not disappointed in me. He chose me from before the beginning. Note that I said BEFORE the beginning. I was not last picked. This is revolutionary. And something that I have not grabbed hold of for so long. So many people, including myself know in their minds that God loves them, but they don't feel it in their hearts. What's the deal with that? It's hard, frustrating, and freeing at the same time.